I’m still on my 3-week off. Unplanned. I just decided not to do anything at all, even the essential ones like, drinking enough water.
For months I drowned myself into something like overwork; then when I dropped everything, I felt useless. I put my values into the number of tasks I can do a day, how I can balance between school-work-social project, so these days, I suffered from relaxing myself. I don’t think I should relax when others are still work hard and achieve things.
No, I’m not that kind of competitive person. I have nothing to do with peer pressure. I just set too many deadlines for myself and my anxiety rushed me to complete them with 200% of energy (which I don’t fucking have).
When my first sem in this school year ended in mid January, also my internship in a company at the same time, I thought I nailed it. But I didn’t. I was so stressed that my period missed for 25 days, I felt like fever all the time, and I overworked with an attitude like I’m doing something ‘for the betterment of myself’.
This year I set some simple goals, but they all need detailed tactics to complete week by week, month by month, kind of that. So if I haven’t done something at first place, other things will be delayed. But when you can plan stuffs, you can set longer or flexible time for some tasks, so… this 3 week vacation is an example. I still can have this vacation without ruining other things ahead, even when I don’t save anytime in this important year to chill.
However, these days brought me valuable chance to read books. Read anything I want, whenever I want. Book were piled around my pillows I even slept on it. I have problems with concentrating, even on the things I like, I cannot focus on a book longer than 10-15min (so yea, I don’t read a lot of books like most people think bc of this). But when I have a rlly long day doing nothing at all, I know it was the best time for me to immerse myself into books.
viết trên instagram. 1/2/2022.